Hello Friends,

I haven't been posting as much anywhere because I have been doing deep inner work to remove some blockages in my ability to do outer work. I figured I would share what is going on and a real-world example of how I am working through it.

I left America, my job, my relationship, and my family behind to travel to Asia, train in martial arts, and build my business. Within the first three months, I grew my Instagram from 2k-30k and my newsletter from 200 to 3k. Everything was going GREAT, and then I hit a wall...

The version of me that brought me here carried me as far as it could. It was time to confront my three biggest obstacles • Imposter syndrome around collecting money for my services • Questioning what true authenticity looks like on social media and in business • Clarity

At this point, I have spent close to $25k on training, courses, mentors, and more. Their value was immense, but no amount of education or knowledge could override my fear of being seen. I had to get to the root, and I had to ground myself and learn to trust.

At a time when I was gaining momentum and everything was going well, I knew I had to do the scary thing. I had to stop All my actions were from a mindset of scarcity, fear, force, and a desire to mold reality to my will. The problem? I had no idea what that reality looked like

I read books, listened to podcasts, contacted mentors, and scrambled to figure out the answer to my question. I could not find the answer because I was asking the wrong question. The question was not how I would become successful. It was. Why did I want it so badly?

The truth is I felt I needed success to be fulfilled. I needed money to feel secure and validated. Ironically enough, this exact mentality and belief prevented me from progressing. I had to do the scary thing. Give up hope.

I took a break from content, networking, posting, and creating because I wanted to lose hope. I wanted to lose hope that it would save me from myself. I wanted to lose hope that it would be the cure. All this time, I forgot that we are both the illness and the medicine.

Creation felt inauthentic because each post validated my right to exist. Monetization felt inauthentic because I was scared to become a commodity, a product. Life became an exercise in survival, and my consciousness became a prison, an echo chamber of my own inadequacy.

This time spent in solitude, sitting with this fear and losing hope, reminds me that I do not need to be saved. I suffer because I take seriously what the gods made for play.

Ironically, the only clarity I have found is in accepting my lack of clarity. Embracing it is not an obstacle to my evolution but a stepping stone toward it.

I believe vulnerability is the crucible in which genuine bonds get formed with others and myself. Sometimes, the thing that makes the least sense to do is our ego trying to convince our soul to continue drinking the poison.

Reflecting on this time in my life, I will remember this:

I thought I had started this journey to become somebody.

It was always about making my peace with being a nobody.

I feel the tension release.

I let it go

I let it be

I let

With, from, and for Love,

Grisha